Some random list of inspirational quotes and stories I had gathered from all over the net sometime long back...
Wise nuggets from Richard Carlson’s classic “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
Live in the Now. When Dalai Lama won the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1989, a reporter asked, “What’s next?”. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal for tomorrow. Life happens when you’re planning for The Next. Discipline your attention to the here and the now.
Make peace with imperfection. Catch yourself in the habit of insisting that things should be in a certain way. Even in the absence of your judgment, things will be fine.
Peace is not the antonym of hustle. Let go of the idea that gentle, relaxed people can’t be super achievers. When you have what you want (your inner peace), you’re less distracted by your wants.
Life is not an ER room. Even when you die, there will still be unfinished business to take care of. Someone else may do it for you. Don’t press on getting it All Done by putting yourself on the line.
Use the backburners (postpone consideration of or action on). Not as an excuse for procrastination but to buy in time for analysis/ reflection/ rethink. To respond and not react. Also, you needn’t catch every ball thrown at you. Pick your battles.
Lower your tolerance to stress. Stop yourself from building that mental snowball. Catch it early – when it's small and before it builds momentum. The degree of stress you take is proportional to how much you allow upon yourself. The lower it is, the better your clarity and peace of mind for more effective, fun, and creative tasks.
Be comfortable with yourself. Allow yourself to be Bored without being frightened at the thought of not having something to do next. Be comfortable with not knowing it all. With being unsure. Having low moods. Dealing with changed plans. Not being Okay.
"Which is more important," asked Big Panda, "the journey or the destination?"
"The company." said Tiny Dragon.
"Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you."
I've learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned-
that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned-
that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned-
that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again.
I've learned-
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned-
that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
Every morning in Africa,
When the sun rises, A deer awakens,
Knowing it has to outrun the fastest lion, or, be hunted to death....
Every morning in Africa,
When the sun rises, A lion awakens,
Knowing it has to outrun the slowest deer, or, be starved to death....
It does not matter whether you are a deer or lion, When the sun rises,
Better be running at your best.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Standing for what you believe in,
Regardless of the odds against you,
and the pressure that tears at your resistance,
...means courage
Keeping a smile on your face,
When inside you feel like dying,
For the sake of supporting others,
...means strength
Stopping at nothing,
And doing what's in your heart,
You know is right,
...means determination
Doing more than is expected,
To make another's life a little more bearable,
Without uttering a single complaint,
...means compassion
Helping a friend in need,
No matter the time or effort,
To the best of your ability,
...means loyalty
Giving more than you have,
And expecting nothing
But nothing in return,
...means selflessness
Holding your head high,
And being the best you know you can be
When life seems to fall apart at your feet,
Facing each difficulty with the confidence
That time will bring you better tomorrows,
And never giving up,
...means confidence.
Originally written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain
Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My
odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more" :
Think about these one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one...
IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
Being in love.
Dreams can come true if you take the time to think about what you want in life.
Get to know yourself.
Find out who you are.
Choose your goals carefully.
Be honest with yourself.
Always believe in yourself.
Find many interests and pursue them.
Find out what is important to you.
Find out what you are good at.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
Work hard to achieve successes.
When things are not going right,don't give up - just try harder.
Give yourself freedom to try out new things.
Laugh and have a good time.
Open yourself up to love.
Take part in the beauty of nature.
Be appreciative of all that you have.
Help those less fortunate than you.
Work towards peace in the world.
Live life to the fullest.
Create your own dreams and follow them until they are a reality!!
To realize the value of ONE YEAR
Ask a student who has failed his exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH
Ask a mother who has given birth to a pre-mature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK
Ask an editor of a weekly.
To realize the value of ONE DAY
Ask a daily wage laborer.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE
Ask a person who has missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND
Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLI-SECOND
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in Olympics.
To realize the value of ONE MICRO-SECOND
Ask a NASA scientist.
To realize the value of ONE NANO-SECOND
Ask a Hardware Engineer.
And if you still don't realize the value of time
You must be a Software Professional !!!
I feared being alone
until I learned to like myself!
I feared failure
until I realized that I only fail when I don't try!
I feared success
until I realized that I had to try in order to be happy with myself!
I feared people's opinions
until I learned that people would have opinions about me anyway!
I feared rejection
until I learned to have faith in myself!
I feared pain
until I learned that it's necessary for growth!
I feared the truth
until I saw the ugliness in lies!
I feared life
until I experienced its beauty!
I feared death
until I realized that it's not an end, but a beginning!
I feared my destiny,
until I realized that I had the power to change my life!
I feared hate
until I saw that it was nothing more than ignorance!
I feared love
until it touched my heart, making the darkness fade into endless sunny days!
I feared ridicule
until I learned how to laugh at myself!
I feared growing old
until I realized that I gained wisdom every day!
I feared the future
until I realized that life just kept getting better!
I feared the past
until I realized that it could no longer hurt me!
I feared the dark
until I saw the beauty of the starlight!
I feared the light
until I learned that the truth would give me strength!
I feared change,
until I saw that even the most beautiful butterfly had to
undergo a metamorphosis before it could fly..!!
1.It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is
more painful is to never have the courage to let that person know how
you feel.
2.Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that
fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a
smile to make a dark day seem bright.
3.It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone,
and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
4.A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you,
only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just
have to let go.
5.The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with,
never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best
conversation you've ever had.
6.It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but
it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it
arrives.
7.Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be,
because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you
want to do.
8.Always put yourself in the other's shoes.If you feel that it hurts you,
it probably hurts the person too.
9.A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life;
a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.
10.The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
11.Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone
around you is crying.
Don't let go of Hope.
Hope gives you the strength to keep going when you feel like giving up.
Don't ever quit believing in Yourself.
As long as you believe you Can, You will have reason for Trying.
Don't let anyone hold your Happiness in their Hands;
Hold it in yours, so it will always be within your Reach.
Don't measure success or failure by material wealth,
But by how you Feel; Our feelings determine the richness of our Lives.
Don't let bad moments overcome You;
Be patient, and they will pass.
Don't hesitate to reach out for Help;
We all need it from time to time.
Don't run away from love but towards Love.
Because it is your deepest Joy.
Don't wait for what you want to come to You.
Go after it with all that You Are,
Knowing that Life will meet you Halfway.
Don't feel like you've lost
When plans and dreams fall short of your hopes.
Anytime you learn something new about Yourself or about Life,
You have progressed.
Don't do anything that takes away from your Self-Respect.
Feeling good about Yourself is essential to feeling good about Life.
Don't ever forget how to Laugh
Or be too proud to Cry.
Or too stubborn to Smile.
Don't ever forget a friend who truly loves You
As it could be that friend who is true to your Needs
Don't ever forget who helped you Grow as your need
for more seeds may often re-appear
ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older,
their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.
FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE.
Love deeply and passionately.
You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want
to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone.
The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY ONE.
Spend some time alone.
I've learned....
That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned....
That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned....
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.
I've learned....
That you should never say "no" to a gift from a child.
I've learned....
That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their
breath on your cheeks.
I've learned....
That when your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist,
that you're hooked for life.
I've learned....
That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him
in some other way.
I've learned....
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
to act goofy with.
I've learned....
That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end,
the faster it goes.
I've learned....
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be
appreciated and loved.
I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person
continue to hurt you.
I've learned....
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with
people smarter than I am.
I've learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned....
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned....
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned....
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he
may have to eat them.
I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned ...
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested
and when it is a life threatening situation.
Three things of life once gone never comes back -
· Time, words & opportunity
Three things of life must not be lost -
. Peace, hope & honesty.
Three things of life are most valuable -
· Love, self-confidence & friends
Three things of life are never sure -
. Dreams, success & fortune
Three things make a Man/Woman -
· Hard work, sincerity & success
Three things of life that destroy a Man/Woman -
· Wine, pride & anger
Failure doesn't mean - You are a failure,
It means - You have not succeeded.
Failure doesn't mean - You accomplished nothing,
It means - You have learned something.
Failure doesn't mean - That you have been a fool,
It means - You had a lot of faith.
Failure doesn't mean - You've been disgraced,
It means - You were willing to try.
Failure doesn't mean - You don't have it,
It means - You have to do something in a different way.
Failure doesn't mean - You are inferior.
It means -You are not perfect.
Failure doesn't mean - You've wasted your life,
It means - You have a reason to start afresh.
Failure doesn't mean - You should give up,
It means - You must try harder.
Failure doesn't mean -You'll never make it.,
It means - It will take a little longer.
Failure doesn't mean - God has abandoned you,
It means - God has a better way for you.
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus,
and drove off along his route. No problems for the first few stops
-- a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,
built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at
the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek?
Well, he was.
Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.
The next day the same thing happened -- Big John got on again, made a show
of refusing to pay, and sat down.
And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John
was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer.
He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong --
what's more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said,
"Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger,
and screamed, "Oh yeah? And why not?!"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
Moral of the story:
Be sure there really is a problem before working hard to solve it.
Difference between Focus on Problem and Focus on Solution
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space,
they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero
gravity. (Ink won't flow down to the writing surface)
In order to solve this problem, they hired Andersen
Consulting (Accenture today). It took them one decade
and 12 million dollars.They developed a pen that
worked at zero gravity, upside down,under water, in
practically any surface including crystal and in a
temperature range from below freezing to over 300
degrees C.
THE RUSSIANS USED A PENCIL...!!!!!!
He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in
Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was
one in a million.
Very neat in appearance, but had thathappy-to-be-alive attitude that made even
his occasional mischievousness delightful. Mark talked incessantly. I had to
remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable.
What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time
I had to correct him for misbehaving - "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!"
I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became
accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and
then I made a novice teacher's mistake. I looked at Mark and said, "If you
say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!"
It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again."
I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had
stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.
I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk,
very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape.
Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape
and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of
the room.
As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me. That did it!!
I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed
the tape, and shrugged my shoulders.
His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister."
At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math.
The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again.
He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen
carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much in
ninth grade as he had in third.
One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new
concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with
themselves and edgy with one another.I had to stop this crankiness before it got
out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in
the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of
their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment,
and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers.
Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a
good weekend".
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of
paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class
was smiling.
"Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone!"
"I didn't know others liked me so much."
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they
discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter.
The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with
themselves and one another again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned
from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home,
Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip the weather,
my experiences in general.
There was a lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance
and simply says, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before
something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began.
"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is."
Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is
tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend."
To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me
about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before.
Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was,
"Mark I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk
to me."
The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle
Hymn of the republic". Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral?
It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers,
and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by
the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water. I was the last one to bless the
coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up
to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to
stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse
for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of
his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you
might recognize it."
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper
that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew
without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all
the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.
"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see,
Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to gather around us.
Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the
top drawer of my desk at home."
Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."
"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her
wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. I carry this with
me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash.
"I think we all saved our lists."
That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his
friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will
end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be. So please, tell the
people you love and care for, that they are special and important.
Tell them, before it is too late.
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage.
They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes.
When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a
medicine bottle open. He was late for the office so he asked the wife
to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied
in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy playfully went to the
medicine bottle and, fascinated with its colour, drank it all.
It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child showed signs of poisoning the mother took him to the hospital,
where he died.
The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child,
he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
QUESTIONS :
What were the four words ?
What is the implication of this story ?
Check with the answers only after you have tried to come up with your own.
ANSWER :
The husband just said " I love You Darling "
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behaviour.
He is indeed a genius in human relationships.
The child is dead. He can never come back to life.
There is no point in finding fault with the mother.
She had also lost her only child.
What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband.
That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective,
there would be much fewer problems in the world.
"A journey of a thousand miles, begins with but a single step.
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiving attitude,
selfishness, and fears AND you will find things are actually
not so difficult as you think."
Address by Subroto Bagchi, Chief Operating Officer, MindTree Consulting to the Class of 2006 at the Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore on defining success. July 2nd 2004
I was the last child of a small-time government servant, in a family of five brothers. My earliest memory of my father is as that of a District Employment Officer in Koraput, Orissa. It was and remains as back of beyond as you can imagine. There was no electricity; no primary school nearby and water did not flow out of a tap. As a result, I did not go to school until the age of eight; I was home-schooled. My father used to get transferred every year. The family belongings fit into the back of a jeep – so the family moved from place to place and, without any trouble, my Mother would set up an establishment and get us going. Raised by a widow who had come as a refugee from the then East Bengal, she was a matriculate when she married my Father. My parents set the foundation of my life and the value system which makes me what I am today and largely defines what success means to me today.
As District Employment Officer, my father was given a jeep by the government. There was no garage in the Office, so the jeep was parked in our house. My father refused to use it to commute to the office. He told us that the jeep is an expensive resource given by the government – he reiterated to us that it was not ‘his jeep’ but the government’s jeep. Insisting that he would use it only to tour the interiors, he would walk to his office on normal days. He also made sure that we never sat in the government jeep – we could sit in it only when it was stationary. That was our early childhood lesson in governance – a lesson that corporate managers learn the hard way, some never do.
The driver of the jeep was treated with respect due to any other member of my Father’s office. As small children, we were taught not to call him by his name. We had to use the suffix ‘dada’ whenever we were to refer to him in public or private. When I grew up to own a car and a driver by the name of Raju was appointed – I repeated the lesson to my two small daughters. They have, as a result, grown up to call Raju, ‘Raju Uncle’ – very different from many of their friends who refer to their family drivers as ‘my driver’. When I hear that term from a school- or college-going person, I cringe. To me, the lesson was significant – you treat small people with more respect than how you treat big people. It is more important to respect your subordinates than your superiors.
Our day used to start with the family huddling around my Mother’s chulha – an earthen fire place she would build at each place of posting where she would cook for the family. There was no gas, nor electrical stoves. The morning routine started with tea. As the brew was served, Father would ask us to read aloud the editorial page of The Statesman’s ‘muffosil’ edition – delivered one day late. We did not understand much of what we were reading. But the ritual was meant for us to know that the world was larger than Koraput district and the English I speak today, despite having studied in an Oriya medium school, has to do with that routine. After reading the newspaper aloud, we were told to fold it neatly. Father taught us a simple lesson. He used to say, “You should leave your newspaper and your toilet, the way you expect to find it”. That lesson was about showing consideration to others. Business begins and ends with that simple precept.
Being small children, we were always enamored with advertisements in the newspaper for transistor radios – we did not have one. We saw other people having radios in their homes and each time there was an advertisement of Philips, Murphy or Bush radios, we would ask Father when we could get one. Each time, my Father would reply that we did not need one because he already had five radios – alluding to his five sons. We also did not have a house of our own and would occasionally ask Father as to when, like others, we would live in our own house. He would give a similar reply, “We do not need a house of our own. I already own five houses”. His replies did not gladden our hearts in that instant. Nonetheless, we learnt that it is important not to measure personal success and sense of well being through material possessions.
Government houses seldom came with fences. Mother and I collected twigs and built a small fence. After lunch, my Mother would never sleep. She would take her kitchen utensils and with those she and I would dig the rocky, white ant infested surrounding. We planted flowering bushes. The white ants destroyed them. My mother brought ash from her chulha and mixed it in the earth and we planted the seedlings all over again. This time, they bloomed. At that time, my father’s transfer order came. A few neighbors told my mother why she was taking so much pain to beautify a government house, why she was planting seeds that would only benefit the next occupant. My mother replied that it did not matter to her that she would not see the flowers in full bloom. She said, “I have to create a bloom in a desert and whenever I am given a new place, I must leave it more beautiful than what I had inherited”. That was my first lesson in success. It is not about what you create for yourself, it is what you leave behind that defines success.
My mother began developing a cataract in her eyes when I was very small. At that time, the eldest among my brothers got a teaching job at the University in Bhubaneswar and had to prepare for the civil services examination. So, it was decided that my Mother would move to cook for him and, as her appendage, I had to move too. For the first time in my life, I saw electricity in homes and water coming out of a tap. It was around 1965 and the country was going to war with Pakistan. My mother was having problems reading and in any case, being Bengali, she did not know the Oriya script. So, in addition to my daily chores, my job was to read her the local newspaper – end to end. That created in me a sense of connectedness with a larger world. I began taking interest in many different things. While reading out news about the war, I felt that I was fighting the war myself. She and I discussed the daily news and built a bond with the larger universe. In it, we became part of a larger reality. Till date, I measure my success in terms of that sense of larger connectedness.
Meanwhile, the war raged and India was fighting on both fronts. Lal Bahadur Shastri, the then Prime Minster, coined the term “Jai Jawan, Jai Kishan” and galvanized the nation in to patriotic fervor. Other than reading out the newspaper to my mother, I had no clue about how I could be part of the action. So, after reading her the newspaper, every day I would land up near the University’s water tank, which served the community. I would spend hours under it, imagining that there could be spies who would come to poison the water and I had to watch for them. I would daydream about catching one and how the next day, I would be featured in the newspaper. Unfortunately for me, the spies at war ignored the sleepy town of Bhubaneswar and I never got a chance to catch one in action. Yet, that act unlocked my imagination. Imagination is everything. If we can imagine a future, we can create it, if we can create that future, others will live in it. That is the essence of success.
Over the next few years, my mother’s eyesight dimmed but in me she created a larger vision, a vision with which I continue to see the world and, I sense, through my eyes, she was seeing too. As the next few years unfolded, her vision deteriorated and she was operated for cataract. I remember, when she returned after her operation and she saw my face clearly for the first time, she was astonished. She said, “Oh my God, I did not know you were so fair”. I remain mighty pleased with that adulation even till date. Within weeks of getting her sight back, she developed a corneal ulcer and, overnight, became blind in both eyes. That was 1969. She died in 2002. In all those 32 years of living with blindness, she never complained about her fate even once. Curious to know what she saw with blind eyes, I asked her once if she sees darkness. She replied, “No, I do not see darkness. I only see light even with my eyes closed”. Until she was eighty years of age, she did her morning yoga everyday, swept her own room and washed her own clothes. To me, success is about the sense of independence; it is about not seeing the world but seeing the light.
Over the many intervening years, I grew up, studied, joined the industry and began to carve my life’s own journey. I began my life as a clerk in a government office, went on to become a Management Trainee with the DCM group and eventually found my life’s calling with the IT industry when fourth generation computers came to India in 1981. Life took me places – I worked with outstanding people, challenging assignments and traveled all over the world. In 1992, while I was posted in the US, I learnt that my father, living a retired life with my eldest brother, had suffered a third degree burn injury and was admitted in the Safderjung Hospital in Delhi. I flew back to attend to him – he remained for a few days in critical stage, bandaged from neck to toe. The Safderjung Hospital is a cockroach infested, dirty, inhuman place. The overworked, under-resourced sisters in the burn ward are both victims and perpetrators of dehumanized life at its worst. One morning, while attending to my Father, I realized that the blood bottle was empty and fearing that air would go into his vein, I asked the attending nurse to change it. She bluntly told me to do it myself. In that horrible theater of death, I was in pain and frustration and anger. Finally when she relented and came, my Father opened his eyes and murmured to her, “Why have you not gone home yet?” Here was a man on his deathbed but more concerned about the overworked nurse than his own state. I was stunned at his stoic self. There I learnt that there is no limit to how concerned you can be for another human being and what is the limit of inclusion you can create. My father died the next day.
He was a man whose success was defined by his principles, his frugality, his universalism and his sense of inclusion. Above all, he taught me that success is your ability to rise above your discomfort, whatever may be your current state. You can, if you want, raise your consciousness above your immediate surroundings. Success is not about building material comforts – the transistor that he never could buy or the house that he never owned. His success was about the legacy he left, the memetic continuity of his ideals that grew beyond the smallness of an ill-paid, unrecognized government servant’s world.
My father was a fervent believer in the British Raj. He sincerely doubted the capability of the post-independence Indian political parties to govern the country. To him, the lowering of the Union Jack was a sad event. My Mother was the exact opposite. When Subhash Bose quit the Indian National Congress and came to Dacca, my mother, then a schoolgirl, garlanded him. She learnt to spin khadi and joined an underground movement that trained her in using daggers and swords. Consequently, our household saw diversity in the political outlook of the two. On major issues concerning the world, the Old Man and the Old Lady had differing opinions. In them, we learnt the power of disagreements, of dialogue and the essence of living with diversity in thinking. Success is not about the ability to create a definitive dogmatic end state; it is about the unfolding of thought processes, of dialogue and continuum.
Two years back, at the age of eighty-two, Mother had a paralytic stroke and was lying in a government hospital in Bhubaneswar. I flew down from the US where I was serving my second stint, to see her. I spent two weeks with her in the hospital as she remained in a paralytic state. She was neither getting better nor moving on. Eventually I had to return to work. While leaving her behind, I kissed her face. In that paralytic state and a garbled voice, she said, “Why are you kissing me, go kiss the world.” Her river was nearing its journey, at the confluence of life and death, this woman who came to India as a refugee, raised by a widowed Mother, no more educated than high school, married to an anonymous government servant whose last salary was Rupees Three Hundred, robbed of her eyesight by fate and crowned by adversity – w as telling me to go and kiss the world!
Success to me is about Vision. It is the ability to rise above the immediacy of pain. It is about imagination. It is about sensitivity to small people. It is about building inclusion. It is about connectedness to a larger world existence. It is about personal tenacity. It is about giving back more to life than you take out of it. It is about creating extra-ordinary success with ordinary lives.
Thank you very much; I wish you good luck and Godspeed. Go, kiss the world.
Author : Stephen Covey
Have you read this before? Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You haveno control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need,to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.She turns and waves.You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same.
Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work?
Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.
Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life.Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.
There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged
You can be different! Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life.
Nothing makes me any happier than seeing a wandering pretty butterfly.
Butterflies have this magic wherein they bring happiness to the people who see them.
A butterfly is the universe’s gift which will bring happiness to lonely souls.
Butterflies can’t hear our cheers when we see them but they can feel the vibration of our hearts out of excitement that.
Some are like butterflies, for a short period of time they belong to our world but after a while it will fly again and though no matter how hard we wish they will stay, we just content ourselves that at least we met them.
Blue Butterfly
O' Butterfly!
Blue Butterfly!
Where have you been
Night's bitter...cold...
Unending, friend.
O' Butterfly!
Blue Butterfly!
Bring love again...
Stay 'till I'm old
And to death's end.
Come! Then love!
Let's go, you and I!
Let's fly through the poppies and lie
In the fields of forget-me-nots
Play on the fruit up in tree tops
Taste sweet necter on stamen tips
Kissing gently their blooming lips
Quench our thirsts by the singing brook
And greet the sun with each new look!
O' Butterfly!
Blue Butterfly!
How can I know
You will not leave?
Dare I trust so?
O' Butterfly!
Blue Butterfly!
Wind...hear it blow?
And on that breeze
You up and go.
~by Deborah Burch© 4/01/2011
They say time will heal everything
So give it some time
But in my experience some pains will last a lifetime
You just need to accept that as a fact
It will keep coming back to your mind again and again no matter how much effort you put in to distract yourself from it...
And slowly the frequency may reduce
But don't have the false hope that everything will be back to normal... and everything will be the same again...
sapiophile: love for intelligence